My top five beauty products

Friday, January 29th, 2010 at 3:20 am

Rage Against The Mascara: Five Beauty Products I Wouldn’t Want to Be Without.

Imagine for a second that our society goes belly up and the new one felt beauty products/cosmetics was a distraction from the real goal (whatever it may be) and just didn’t fit into”For the Greater Good” mentality of the new totalitarian communist society. Imagine all the former cosmetic companies are forced to cease production and turn their efforts toward propaganda for the new governmental regimes….instantly creating a black market for unnecessary luxuries we commonly take for granted today. Whittled down to just a handful, What are the five beauty products you are not willing to do with out? Granted, a government in such utter turmoil is not the ideal situation to be applying makeup or contemplating the merits between powder blush or gel blush, but damn it, shouldn’t we at least look great when we plot our revolution?

Here are my picks for beauty products that go the distance:

1. My pink “support breast cancer research” Tweezerman tweezers – for plucking my eyebrows into rigidly arched perfection, systematically eliminating white hairs from darkly tressed scalp, and eradicating old lady hairs from chinny-chin chin, and the occasional long rogue nose hair that needs to be put out of its misery…(and folks, believe me when I say it hurts me a lot more to do it than it does….)

2. Brown liquid eyeliner (maybelline works fine) – With a steady hand (from lots of practice) liquid eyeliner instantly makes you look like a professional put you together and ushered you out the door this morning. Your lashes look darker and lusher (even with out mascara), and if done well and with a light hand (super close to your eyelashes), your eye shape is mysteriously curvier and more sultry even though it appears you aren’t wearing a lick of make-up to the untrained eye.

3.Revlon age-defying Concealer – I have the classic case of combination skin…dry with a side of pimples. But mostly dry, which is why I really appreciate the creamy texture of revlon’s concealer for dried up old crones (age defying) at the age of 26. Applied lightly with my ring finger to circumstantial blemishes, to brighten dark under eye circles, and to any red or blotchy areas around my nose and chin.

4. Anna Sui lipstick #204-an almost black, red wine shade that I apply with a lip brush as a lipstain. It stains my lips the perfect flushed shade of crushed red raspberries and concord grapes that my lips would be naturally if they weren’t so pale and undefined all by themselves…I have to help them to look so naturally great and luscious. Plus, the tube of lipstick has the best black lacquer rococo revival packaging, the lipstick smells like rose water, and the tube is half empty but, has lasted me two years so far…4 years per tube ain’t bad.

5. Teeth whitening – I don’t condone the use of crest white strips or over the counter crap. I went straight to the source, my dentist. I had special trays made especially to fit my mouth and syringes of Nupro Gold bleaching gel. I can drink all the coffee, coke and red wine I want with no fear of narsty yellow teeth looming in my future.

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